http://www.auctionads.com/refer_5a088a453a5d653ed301

Change of address :D

Hey people who actually visit my blog..thank you thank you for reading my stories and complains :)

I now pindah to reminis-cence.blogspot.com d...yes I know I am fickle but I got my reasons :) Visit that site la :)

Thanks.

alch

How love can be painful.

Read this all you want and interpret it all you want.

It's really hard to like someone. Especially harder to like someone who doesn't like one. Really really really hard to like someone who despise you at a certain point of your life. Despises a part of you that make you you. You can't change, at least for me, it's hard to change who I am because no matter how hard I tried...I seem to go back to who I am. So I guess its pointless to change into some1 that is liked by somebody. If someone likes someone...then love's there. If its not meant to be, then it's not meant to be. How is that even possible?

If it is true that like/love only happens by nature, then it is impossible to nurture love. Then it would be pointless to get someone to like you if you like that some1 who doesnt like one. Hurt and pain comes next, but only to the liker while the likey goes around with his/her normal chores without a single worry in the world.

It's a mean world out there. God makes "that kind of love" rigid and not achievable through time. Love will never be born. Is either it's there or not. Like 2 elements reacting with each other, only certain elements will react, and those that doesnt, doesnt. You can't change an element because the only way you can change it is to make it a compound, then you won't be you and you'd live your life in misery.

Love is painful. It is just so hard to like someone who doesn't like you back, don't you think?

Suppose to sleep but...

Long time no blog. I wonder if people occasionally visit this site considering my blogging has been so inconsistent. Well it started off rather rapidly with entries almost twice or 3 times a week, but I guess the spirit died on through time. It's 3.42 am now and ya, I know I'm suppose to be sleeping, but well, I can't shut my eye because not feeling just as sleepy. Been reading some of my friends blog...at least some of them who has been so so so very stressful lately...especially the ones in Malaysia. I guess studying in Malaysia can get really stressful sometimes, and even having to sacrifice sleep and a decent rest...guess I should really be thankful for being here. Like really really thank-full :)

Is it possible for someone to get more stupid through time? Deterioration of the brain? Thing is, if it does happen, its happening abit to early for me. I guess I should exercise it... but really I feel like I cannot remember stuff, and like I always said, the brain for a scholar is the single most important asset. If you dont have anything else its fine, as long as you have a healthy working brain. So I might be in deep shit. Maybe I should get some exercise for my brain...should I? I don't know...I feel really scared if this is going to go on...




















It's been snowing lately, but its not that nasty...kinda relieved to actually see pure snow considering that it did not snowed since last December. It's only starting now and I really wonder if its because of global warming. But, I got more important things to worry about, or at least as long as I live.

Also, I got a new iPod. :) Well, not really new - it's refurbished, but it looks pretty new. Its the iPod Nano 1st generation, ya, I know the 2nd's generation's much better, but I'm not really into flavor, just needed something to relieve me from thinking. I've been thinking too much, and especially when:

1. Waiting for bus.
2. Travelling in bus.
3. Walking from bus stop to class.
4. Walking from class to class.

1-3 takes usually about 1/2 hour and it drives me crazy coz it totals up to like 1 1/2 hours daily just thinking about unnecesarry stuff. Stuff that makes me worried about me being who I am. I am just too self conscience and I fill myself with thoughts about who I ought to be and what I'd turn out to be if I were that someone else. So, the iPod is a crucial part of my current life.

Also I always wonder - why do people who have little or not sleep at all feel only tired but they dont sleep in class?!? And why do I sleep in class even though I have a decent 5 hours sleep?!?!? Tell me why the hell man...it's just so frustrating each time I fall asleep in class...It's like I can't control myself, and I just fall asleep without even noticing.

Kenot control! Argh!

Okay...time to get some decent sleep :)

Here's a couple of picture of me and a couple of car...went to the Detroit Auto Show the other day...tried to induce my interest in car, but doesnt seem to work very well, but at least I like the exterior design of these 2 cars :)

Maybe I shouldve been a designer...haha...but well, I'm not really good at drawing anywayz. So I guess i'll stay to the typical. Better get some sleep!

Apology.

I owe the people around me in Melaka an apology. At least I feel that I owe them one la. The situation as I perceived is, I have been ignoring or at least not paying attention to the people who have been in my life for the past years when I am still back home. They contacted me, showing concern and all, but all I could do is reply an sms. Or even worse, not reply the sms. I wish I could call home, tell them how much it meant for me to have someone who cares and all, but something's just stopping me.

I become selfish. I become so stucked to the life here, I might have forgo a part of me. I wish that wouldn't happen but it did. I worried about stuff here more than stuff that I'm suppose to be worried back home. And that is part of the reason I am probably going back again this year. Maybe I think too much, I don't know.

But anyhow, I really feel bad about this. I hope all will be forgiven when I get back, because I know when I get back, US will not be in my mind and I will be one with my old self. Hopefully.

Sorry. :)

Something to share.

I'm back and it's been a fabulous winter break! New York was great, the broadway, the Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero, Empire State, Central Park and New Year at 10 street away from Times Square. It was a handful of experience, one that I can think of growing old and telling people about the time when I was in new york. The time when I was at the biggest event in the world on 31st of January. The time when I was under the big Christmas tree during Xmas eve. But nevertheless, this journey is not about telling. This journing is about relishing life and enjoying the holidays. I made myself so attached to the camera I forgot what's more important. I thought taking pictures and sceneries was the most important aspects of the trip. And I was wrong. Thank God, someone was there to remind me the true purpose of the trip. I went to trip for myself. For my own satisfaction. For my own experience. The experience I gain can be share, but I must always not forget my own share.

So I kept the camera and kept walking. And I enjoyed the New Year fireworks at Times Square. It's never a New Year if there ain't no fireworks.

The fireworks brought some sort of message that implied "Everything paid off." I have seen New York enough to tell people what it is like - New York. It's like Petaling Street, it's like Bintang Walk, and a bit of Melaka in the corner of somewhere. My pictures, which I will post in multiply soon, will tell you more than I can put in words. It is breathtaking. Almost everything is. I didn't even know I'd grow up to actually see these things with my own eyes. But I did. Thank you.

Well, that was my emotional journey to New York. Now a little rant about life.
More rants.

Don't you wish sometimes that you are in control of things. In control of your life? Would you wanna be in control of your life in the first place? You can. But things will be predictable. Arranged. Things will be so predictable you will probably be able to one day wake up and see a cup of coffee waiting on the table for you. Everything's made beforehand. And who did it? You. You decide if you want to make your life predictable. They come hand in hand...if you decide that you wanna have control of your life, have a say in what's next and what you're gonna achieve, you can, but the next thing you know, the next day is the same as the day before and everyday repeats. Where's the surprises? It vanished through the lines between your well managed schedule. :)

How about if I don't decide to arrange my life? Will the element of surprise be there? Sure they will. More like the element of shock. You wake up in the morning, realize that you're late for class and you have not done your homework. I dress quickly and guess what? Your laundry's not done :) "What's next?!" you ask. You left your room and lock the door behind you, realizing that you did not have your key with you and you're locked out. Dang! You left your bag inside because you forget to take it out before locking the door. Sounds painful ain't it?

I guess we're all suppose to arrange our life in some sort of way. Civilization is like the strings that hold our fingers, controlling our movements. I was watching this show call "The Gods Must be Crazy" the other day out of curiousity. And the way they explained civilized humans is so true. Compare ourselves to the natives living in the forest, we made things and time around us to govern us. We have to adapt to the things that we make. Adapt to the time that we chose to do the things that "humans" are suppose to do. But the natives...they made the environment adapt to them. They made the stone do the things they wanna do. The made the wood useful for their own convenience. Well...that probably didn't make much sense.

Gotta go now. Off for dinner at a Chinese restaurant with friends. :) I'll continue to let time govern me. It's dinner time! :)

Winterbreak:Nuyork

Well, if most of you guys have known...I'm not very adventurous. But I'm goin' New York tomorrow. The heart of the Big Apple. Nu York. I have been looking forward to Nuyork for quite some time considering I have been scrapping through my semester being all dumb and idiotic. So I'm gonna be in New York city from 24/12 to 1/12 and then come back to Ann Arbor for good. It's so gonna be a good trip. I'll be going to quite a few places and of course...I'll blog about it when I get back. I'll be going to the Statue of Liberty, Empire State and even celebrate Christmas and New year in Nuyork! Woo! Thank God I bailed out from Florida. So I'll see you guys soon!

New York, here I come!

Times Square - That will be where I will celebrate the New Year.Try to catch me on TV :)

Peacefulness, Satisfaction and Regrets.

The American Dream.


It's the end of semester. Finally it ended. A nightmare - or is it? Four months of not knowing what I have been doing. 4 months of screwing up. 4 months of not doing the homework assigned but instead took other person's copy and try to understand what is being thought in class. 4 months of crap. The first semester of engineering. Thing is, I know I failed myself this time. In my previous blog I mentioned how much I needed an external force to push me forward. Someone to reassure that I am doing good, or at least someone who needs my help to do good. Somehow, for the past 2 semesters I have totally depended on the 2 facts to ace. My ace subjects are subjects in which case I was somehow good at it because people needed my help, my guidance. I sound cocky. But because I was needed, I went the extra mile to study, to revise and do my homework so I could help someone else. Results are - I got good grades.

This year, I am helpless. I slept in class and that must not happen. I realized so much now taking engineering subjects. You cannot sleep in class and get good results. I am not longer a freshman. I am a sophomore and you have to listen and understand what I being thought in class in order to get things right. These are the things that I should do in order to get good grades. Let's make this a reminder or a new year's resolution.

1. Sleep earlier and concentrate in class.
2. Do the homeworks early before anyone else.
3. Get involved in projects and all such as Solar Car Team.
4. Do not play too much pool.
5. Keep the room clean and managable so you can study well in the room.
6. Do not get addicted to www.youtube.com
7. Go for every classes, if not at least 98%, which means I'm allowed to miss only one class a semester.
8. If you need that external force, go get it. I know you know how :)
9. Study hard and success will find you.
10. Try to get a 4.0, alright?

Of course, those reminders are idealized, but at least now I have a reminder to tell me what I should do.


:)

Another factor of this hefty failure is probably because of www.youtube.com. Youtube is an addiction. The newer features can cause fatality to those having exams the day after...+ not having any discipline. Youtube now has this new feature that enables you to link to other related videos to the current video you're watching when it ends. With the world only a click away, this function will make you beg that you did not know about youtube. Unfortunately...you do. So...DAMNED! I continued watching various videos and so much so...I wont stop.

Let's talk a bit about youtube. I am pretty addicted to it mainly because we have fast connection here and loading a video is never a problem. Youtube's motto - Broadcast yourself.

In a way, youtube has expended to way imaginable extent. The have gone far and beyond reality. The creators of youtube probably didn't thought they would have gone so far as to creating to cyberworld. A world of freaks and computer geeks. A world very much similar to ours, only the people are bolder. You see, the thing with youtube"world".com is that it has become something of like...the matrix? It has millions, maybe billions of video uploaded. Probably millions are uploaded daily. And why is this world bolder? Youtube says "Broadcast yourself." That pretty much says it all ain't it? It's filled with people, extremist...angriest person, saddest person, happiest person, any kind of emotions you can think of telling their own side of the story online. That is after the new "vlogging" phenomenon come about. With the new "vain blogging" instead of "video blogging", people are able to actually record their rants. Some were for personal reasons and some are for "sharing" purposes. Yeah right...like that made any sense. Youtube has injected us with their venom. They has lured us into a trapped filled with joy and infected us with the plague. The plague of an "unprivatized" world. With the ability to add almost anything to youtube (except pornographic material or >10 minutes video), everyone is rampaging. We have become one with youtube. We have become the new Neo. Just that, it is a reversed reaction. We have gone into the world there computer control men.

Well anyhow, that's another one of my occasional rant. New one's about my winter trip :D

why now and why this?

It's been a month since I last blog. I had the thought of blogging, really, but somehow each time I feel like blogging, it just fades, telling me there's something better that I can do rather than sit in front of that computer and blog. So, I began to procrastinate...It's not really a procrastination though I would say because blogging is neither good nor bad. It's not even essential to live. But my friends have told me to blog and update my blog...forgive me for not doing so because I thought blogging is kinda sien.

But the tradition lives. I have 3 major exams in the next 3 days and I know I am done for. I am quite sure I am done for because I basically have no idea what I am doing this sem. I have no idea why I have no idea of what I am doing this sem, but truth is, I have no idea. This is all I know about the three major subjects that I've took this semester...not that it makes any difference, but what the hell, here goes:

1. Statics
All I know is there's exist inner forces when a force is applied on a material. An external force will cause shear stress, normal stress that will lead to strain. That's about it.

2. Dynamics
We ought to just stick to not moving at all if dynamics really is that ridiculous.

3. Designing and Manufacturing
I gotta admit the project was alrite although ours look pretty rough, and I have the exam tomorrow and I really can't seem to get any of those things into my head considering that I skipped class quite often.

Conclusion is, I have screwed this semester in the way I've nv screwed before. I need a motivation. I need a push for me to go on. If I were independant...I will never make it to the top. I need a motivation. I had motivations previous semesters and that force push me to work hard and improve, not for myself, but for the sake of others. That motivation made me wanna do better so I will be noticed, I will be appreciated but rarely - to improve myself. The motivation is gone and it seem quite pointless for me to study and I just feel like procrastinating all the time. I am so sick sick sick of procrastinating, but the infects till the core of my bones. Till the core of my soul. It makes me sick. I make me sick. I need to recover.